Three lies your mind tells you about happiness and peace

Lie 1: When your circumstances change, you will become happier

Our mind tells us that we will be happy when we get the perfect job, perfect spouse or when we get our first million dollars. There seem to be complex rules for us to be happy - not only do we have to worry about our peace of mind, we include others in our "get happy" mode. If only our spouse/ friend/ {insert favorite relative} did exactly what we tell them to do - and then all of us will be happy.
The truth - Focus on yourself! Focus on the present moment! Identify those aspects of your life that are going well for you and recognize what you can be grateful for.  If you can do it now, you can do it in the future too!

Lie 2. You are born with or without the "Happy" gene - there is nothing you can do.

Have you met people who seem to be happy whatever their circumstances in their life? Do you wonder if they were born with a special gene? Scientifically the existence of such a gene has not been proven.

The truth: We pick up negative "rules" for happiness from our family, environment and friends but we can make changes in our behavior and beliefs in order to become happy.  I have enjoyed reading and applying the techniques described by Martin E.P. Seligman in his book "Learned Optimism". Learning to be optimistic is one path to happiness and peace.

Lie 3. You can distract yourself into happiness
We often feel that the use of alcohol, drugs or other distractions can prevent us from being depressed or stressed out.  The use of alcohol, drugs or other distractions is only an indication that we are unwilling to face life’s challenges – it is an escapist’s road and does not lead to peace or happiness.
The truth - We have to face our life directly and accept that, at times, it is not a bed of roses. Focus and objectivity can help us find new solutions and methods of coping with challenges. Mindfulness practice can be used both during the happy and stressful periods of our lives.

See Jill Bolte Taylor's famous TED video link below on the left versus right brain.  Her explanation gives us a unique perspective on how the two parts of our brain work - often in very different ways.

Learned Optimism: How to Change Your Mind and Your Life

Martin E. P. Seligman (Paperback - Jan 3, 2006)

$10.20

http://blog.ted.com/2008/03/jill_bolte_tayl.php
Neuroanatomist Jill Bolte Taylor had an opportunity few brain scientists would wish for: One morning, she realized she was having a massive stroke. As it happened -- as she felt her brain functions slip away one by one, speech, movement, understanding -- she studied and remembered every moment. This is a powerful story of recovery and awareness -- of how our brains define us and connect us to the world and to one another. (Recorded February 2008 in Monterey, California. Duration: 18:44.)

Recommended CD set: Learn meditation in less than 1 hour with this CD!

 
Many of us think of meditation and mindfulness as a long and complex art that involves hours of sitting down and doing nothing!  Nothing can be farther from the truth - John Kabat Zinn and Andrew Weil give a great introduction to meditation in this two part CD. Here are two testimonials from Amazon.com for this CD set.
This CD set is only $16.47 now (regular price is $25.00)

30 of 30 people found the following review helpful: 4.0 out of 5 stars Good introduction to meditation, March 28, 2005 By  CE Johnson (Lakewood, CO United States) - See all my reviews This is a solid introduction to the practice of meditation. The first disc features Weil and Kabat-Zinn giving background information about meditation. The second disc features guided meditations. Like any spiritual practice, the more information an individual gets, the better he or she becomes at that practice. This set of discs is a good starting point that will get a person going into meditation immediately, which might lead the listener to pursue additional materials about spirituality. Help other customers find the most helpful reviews   Was this review helpful to you?    Report this | Permalink Comment Comment

33 of 34 people found the following review helpful: 4.0 out of 5 stars Fundamental information about meditation, November 15, 2003 By  Rupert Valentino (Denver, Colorado United States) - See all my reviews Anyone who is looking for a way to relax, and to just get the basic rundown of what meditation is all about, this recording will give you just that. Sit for awhile and listen to Dr. Weil's kind voice and that alone will have you feeling relaxed. John Kabat-Zinn is a little odd, I really respect his vast knowledge and practical advice, but his take on things seems a bit surreal. I recommend this for anyone who is in need of a practical, if basic guide to meditation. Help other customers find the most helpful reviews   Was this review helpful to you?    Report this | Permalink Comment Comment

Read this if you grind your teeth

Sometimes, do you clench your jaws and grind your teeth during sleep? Do you wake up with sore jaws and headaches as a result of your teeth grinding?

Our bodies and minds often give us signals when we are not coping with our stress levels adequately. Sometimes, I grind my teeth at night. It is often a sign for me to take action (i) Work on my journal (ii) Increase the duration or reduce the intensity of my exercise levels (iii) Catch up on my meditation and mindfulness exercises.

If you have a problem with grinding teeth, check with your dentist. Your dental insurance may cover a personalized mouth guard - typical costs between $200-$700. You can wear this mouth guard at nights and protect your teeth. Your local pharmacy may have cheaper night guards ($15-$30) - see weblink below.

Also, take time to be aware of your stress levels. Take time to relax and unwind before you sleep. Read to your kids, listen to your favorite music or play with your pet before you go to bed.


http://www.guardian.co.uk/society/2010/feb/28/teeth-grinding-recession-linked-dentists
Check your local Walgreens for Night Guard
Night Guard - to reduce pain caused by teeth grinding while you sleep

Do this during exercise to super-size your stress relief

Mindfulness - art of focusing our awareness to the present moment can trigger relaxation during any of your daily routines including exercise.

Do you exercise regularly? Do you listen to your ipod or watch tv as you walk on the treadmill? Here are some simple tips to incorporate mindfulness in your exercise routine to gain additional relaxation from your work-out.

>Focus on your exercise routine, your body movements and your breathing.

>Pay attention to your stride, speed and heart rate

>Are you fretting about the tasks you have to complete after the exercise - draw your attention to the relaxation within you.

>If you are weight training, focus on the the muscles that move the weight up and down (slowly - to the count of 10 up and down).

Just becoming aware of your stresses in your body will help you find the right balance and posture for your exercise technique.

You can use this techniques with any daily activities. Are you walking from one department to another at your work place. Take the time to read your posture, your stress levels. You will be amazed that just by taking the time to find your stresses in your body, you will relax.