Mindfulness Exercise: The Who, Where and What of Your Happiness

Start by considering:

·         The three people you feel happiest around. How much time do you spend with them – by phone, personal visits or emails/letters?

·         The three places where you feel the most joy. How often do you visit these places?

·         The three activities that most delight you. How do you integrate them into your daily life?

Becoming aware of the people, places and activities that bring us the most joy—and creating time for them--requires mindfulness. Much like your body responds to a physical exercise routine, your mind responds and becomes increasingly aware, peaceful and loving as you train it through meditation. And just like physical exercise, the more you meditate, the more you use these calming circuits in your mind, making it easier to experience happiness.

Take time to be mindful about the people you surround yourself with – make time for people you love. Visit places that make you feel joyful – the local flea market, your church or temple or a nearby forest preserve. Make time for the activities that energize and delight you. Read, if that’s what you love to do. Or listen to your favorite music . . . and of course meditate!

Consider, how can you make time for these people, places and activities on a regular basis?

“Action may not always bring happiness;

but there is no happiness without action”

-Benjamin Disraeli (British Prime Minister and Novelist 1804-1881)

Three lies your mind tells you about happiness and peace

Lie 1: When your circumstances change, you will become happier

Our mind tells us that we will be happy when we get the perfect job, perfect spouse or when we get our first million dollars. There seem to be complex rules for us to be happy - not only do we have to worry about our peace of mind, we include others in our "get happy" mode. If only our spouse/ friend/ {insert favorite relative} did exactly what we tell them to do - and then all of us will be happy.
The truth - Focus on yourself! Focus on the present moment! Identify those aspects of your life that are going well for you and recognize what you can be grateful for.  If you can do it now, you can do it in the future too!

Lie 2. You are born with or without the "Happy" gene - there is nothing you can do.

Have you met people who seem to be happy whatever their circumstances in their life? Do you wonder if they were born with a special gene? Scientifically the existence of such a gene has not been proven.

The truth: We pick up negative "rules" for happiness from our family, environment and friends but we can make changes in our behavior and beliefs in order to become happy.  I have enjoyed reading and applying the techniques described by Martin E.P. Seligman in his book "Learned Optimism". Learning to be optimistic is one path to happiness and peace.

Lie 3. You can distract yourself into happiness
We often feel that the use of alcohol, drugs or other distractions can prevent us from being depressed or stressed out.  The use of alcohol, drugs or other distractions is only an indication that we are unwilling to face life’s challenges – it is an escapist’s road and does not lead to peace or happiness.
The truth - We have to face our life directly and accept that, at times, it is not a bed of roses. Focus and objectivity can help us find new solutions and methods of coping with challenges. Mindfulness practice can be used both during the happy and stressful periods of our lives.

See Jill Bolte Taylor's famous TED video link below on the left versus right brain.  Her explanation gives us a unique perspective on how the two parts of our brain work - often in very different ways.

Learned Optimism: How to Change Your Mind and Your Life

Martin E. P. Seligman (Paperback - Jan 3, 2006)

$10.20

http://blog.ted.com/2008/03/jill_bolte_tayl.php
Neuroanatomist Jill Bolte Taylor had an opportunity few brain scientists would wish for: One morning, she realized she was having a massive stroke. As it happened -- as she felt her brain functions slip away one by one, speech, movement, understanding -- she studied and remembered every moment. This is a powerful story of recovery and awareness -- of how our brains define us and connect us to the world and to one another. (Recorded February 2008 in Monterey, California. Duration: 18:44.)