Three Steps to Use Your Inner Critic Effectively

All of us have a little voice that keeps evaluating and judging us. This voice may endorse or condemn our actions by saying, “Wow! You did a great job today” or “You are worthless” . At times, is critic can be belittling and even humiliating. Sometimes, the inner critic will flash images from our past or show possible scenarios from the future – some good and some bad.

The inner critic plays a very important role. It often protects us from danger by acting as a moral compass and guiding us in doing the right thing. It can be a very powerful friend in our lives though some books in psychology give strategies to silence the critic, Some serial murderers have been able to completely silence their “conscience” and moral compass and so have not been able to tell right from wrong

Here are the three steps you can use to harness your Inner Critic to your advantage

1. Observe and record your thoughts as well as images – take time to write out the thoughts that come to your mind when you are happy, sad or relaxed. If you prefer, you can record them with an inexpensive digital audio recorder. Do not judge them - though you are likely to get insights when you review these thoughts at a different place or time.
   

2. Ask yourself – are these thought empowering? Do the images, voices or feelings guide me in the right direction? Do they put me down or help me grow?

3. Replace the dis-empowering thought or image and encourage the empowering thoughts /images – if it is a negative voice – pretend that you are replacing a CD or audio tape or Mp3 in your head. Pretend to turn down the volume of the negative voice and replace with a positive voice or message. If it is a negative image, pretend that you are changing a DVD or VHS tape. Your imagination is a powerful ally because it can help you cope with your inner thoughts and images in an emotional and logical way. If you hear a positive message or image – encourage that message and be grateful for the support you get from your mind.

For example, if you are driving down to meet some one and you are late. Your inner voice may say – “As always, you are so late – why don’t you drive over the speed limit so you can reach in time”. Take the time to listen to your self-talk as you would listen to your best friend. As you listen, you can talk gently to yourself and counsel yourself in the best way you can.

As you perform these steps, you will find it easier to become aware of your thoughts and control them. Again, this is not about positive self-talk – this is about becoming aware of the thoughts in your mind and how they influence your moods, emotions and attitudes.

A classic book, if you want read more on this topic, is “What to Say When You Talk to Yourself” by Shad Helmstetter. The book suggests many powerful ways to cope with negative chatter in our minds and use empowering self-talk.