5 Common Challenges to Meditation

One of my favorite websites is “Zen Stories to Tell Your Neighbors”

http://www-usr.rider.edu/~suler/zenstory/zenstory.html

Here is one of my favorite stories from that site.

A martial arts student went to his teacher and said earnestly, "I am devoted to studying your martial system. How long will it take me to master it." The teacher's reply was casual, "Ten years." Impatiently, the student answered, "But I want to master it faster than that. I will work very hard. I will practice everyday, ten or more hours a day if I have to. How long will it take then?" The teacher thought for a moment, "20 years."

Many of my meditation workshop participants ask for help with the following problems in their meditation practice. I think about the story above because many of the students have come up with creative ways to deal with these challenges. It is not about working hard on meditation but going with the flow with your challenges.

1. Wandering mind and focus – many meditation beginners are frustrated with how difficult it is to focus one’s mind on a specific image or their own breathing.  Thoughts such as “Am I doing this right?” or “Oh! I remember that I have to finish an errand”. Such distracting thoughts are very common as the “Left” or logical part of the brain is often uncomfortable with the meditation process. You can use your imagination to observe and let these thoughts drift away. You can then bring back your focus on to your “mantra” or your breathing.  Just be tolerant of the incessant chatter in your mind.  Some people often describe meditation as the gap between the thoughts but remember that even if the gap is for a few seconds, your body and mind benefits from that relaxation.  You can change your focus from breathing to images or listen to relaxing music - pick the most effective focusing method that works for you. One of my participants meditates by focusing her attention on the flame of a candle. Just understand that relaxation comes from your focus and “inward” looking. It is not necessarily a continuous process – and it may come in waves and spells.

2. Physical itch and discomfort – As you focus on meditation; you become aware of new tensions, itches and physical discomforts.  You may also become aware of pain in your neck or back.  Feel free to adjust your position. If you are sitting cross-legged on the floor, consider moving to a comfortable chair. There is nothing wrong in scratching an itch or applying soothing lotion on any dry part of the skin that itches.  The important thing is to return to your mindfulness or meditation session after dealing with your source of discomfort.

3. Falling asleep – When I listen to a new piece of meditation music, I often fall asleep.  When you are tired or exhausted, your physical body can relax immediately by falling asleep.  Do you lie down to meditate? Consider sitting on a comfortable chair. If you continue to fall asleep even in the sitting position, try meditating at different times of the day – say early in the morning or middle of the day. Be patient with yourself when this happens.  In some cases, you may so physically tired that the body responds by sleeping.

4. Feeling bored – some participants find meditating to be a very boring activity. Their mind feels restless and they do not get a relaxation response. They grow fidgety and uncomfortable.  Try different techniques – focus on your breathing,  try different types of music or use your imagination to transport yourself to a beach, forest or garden.   If sitting still is a challenge, I strongly recommend walking meditation – see article below:

You do what with a tennis ball?!!

5. Lack of results – do not expect to become a meditation expert in a few sittings but you should be able to relax within 1-2 meditation session. I teach three techniques – focus on breathing, happy place meditation and loving kindness meditation.  There are number of other meditation techniques. Check out books, CDs and DVDs from your public library. If you are open, you will definitely find a technique that works best for you.

Are you challenged to find time to meditate? Check out this article

No time for meditation? Here is what you can do . . .

In spite of my years of meditation practice, there are some days when I can’t relax and enjoy my meditation sessions.  To paraphrase a famous saying about fishing “A bad day at meditation is better than a good day with stress”!

 I look forward to hearing about your challenges in meditation and how you overcame them.

Three Steps to Use Your Inner Critic Effectively

All of us have a little voice that keeps evaluating and judging us. This voice may endorse or condemn our actions by saying, “Wow! You did a great job today” or “You are worthless” . At times, is critic can be belittling and even humiliating. Sometimes, the inner critic will flash images from our past or show possible scenarios from the future – some good and some bad.

The inner critic plays a very important role. It often protects us from danger by acting as a moral compass and guiding us in doing the right thing. It can be a very powerful friend in our lives though some books in psychology give strategies to silence the critic, Some serial murderers have been able to completely silence their “conscience” and moral compass and so have not been able to tell right from wrong

Here are the three steps you can use to harness your Inner Critic to your advantage

1. Observe and record your thoughts as well as images – take time to write out the thoughts that come to your mind when you are happy, sad or relaxed. If you prefer, you can record them with an inexpensive digital audio recorder. Do not judge them - though you are likely to get insights when you review these thoughts at a different place or time.
   

2. Ask yourself – are these thought empowering? Do the images, voices or feelings guide me in the right direction? Do they put me down or help me grow?

3. Replace the dis-empowering thought or image and encourage the empowering thoughts /images – if it is a negative voice – pretend that you are replacing a CD or audio tape or Mp3 in your head. Pretend to turn down the volume of the negative voice and replace with a positive voice or message. If it is a negative image, pretend that you are changing a DVD or VHS tape. Your imagination is a powerful ally because it can help you cope with your inner thoughts and images in an emotional and logical way. If you hear a positive message or image – encourage that message and be grateful for the support you get from your mind.

For example, if you are driving down to meet some one and you are late. Your inner voice may say – “As always, you are so late – why don’t you drive over the speed limit so you can reach in time”. Take the time to listen to your self-talk as you would listen to your best friend. As you listen, you can talk gently to yourself and counsel yourself in the best way you can.

As you perform these steps, you will find it easier to become aware of your thoughts and control them. Again, this is not about positive self-talk – this is about becoming aware of the thoughts in your mind and how they influence your moods, emotions and attitudes.

A classic book, if you want read more on this topic, is “What to Say When You Talk to Yourself” by Shad Helmstetter. The book suggests many powerful ways to cope with negative chatter in our minds and use empowering self-talk.

A surefire way to reduce your stress!

One of my favorite radio programs is "Speaking of Faith" hosted by Krista Tippet. On the show last week, Krista interviewed experts on Alzheimer's disease - the dreadful disease that slowly unravels and destroys the memory of the patient.   There was a particularly touching story of a lady who was very upset that her husband could not recognize her any more. Every time, she went to see him, she kept asking him who she was and he kept repeating he did not know her. However, one fine day, her husband said " I don't know who you are . . . but I know that I love you very much"!


That answer took my breath away. It appears that love is an emotion that is buried deep inside our subconscious- way below the physical brain. Our memories may go away but love remains for a long time. Love and other emotions are often below the 'rational' thinking part of our mind - like stress, anxiety and worry.

Love, therefore, is a very powerful stress reduction tool for us. One Buddhist meditation techniques is referred to as the "Loving Kindness" Meditation. It involves relaxing the body and focusing on sending and receiving love to the people around us and by expansion to all the life in the world and universe. I find it a very powerful meditation technique . . . and so do many of my program participants.

In your daily life, you can use love to relax and find peace in many ways -

1. Spend time with your loved ones -. This may seem like common sense but often we are so busy meeting our work and other life deadlines, we miss out on the opportunity to spend time with our loved ones. I am, sometimes, guilty of brushing off my five year old's request to play games when I am busy with work or other activities.

2. Images and Memories - Take the time to think of your loved ones - are your grand parents deceased? Do you have beautiful and loving memories of them - relax and enjoy those memories. Take the time to replay your child's first words or walk, look through your wedding videos and look through your friends' letters. I love old photo albums.

3. Call and write to your loved ones faraway - In the 1980s the phone company AT&T had a series of TV commercials - "Reach Out and Touch Someone" {See Youtube clip}- about calling your mother or grandmother. In those days of letter writing, people complained about the lack of personal touch of a phone call. But today we see the short messages in texting and emails - I wonder if quantity is as important as quality in communication.

3. Volunteer your time - work in a local soup kitchen, help with food delivery (Meals-On-Wheels Program). The very act of helping other people often brings down our levels of stress.

How do you feel love? Does it help you cope with the challenges of your life? Let me know.

http://speakingoffaith.publicradio.org/index.shtml

April 22, 2010
Alzheimer's disease has been described as "the great unlearning," a "disease of memory," a "demise of consciousness." But what does it reveal about the nature of human identity? What remains when memory unravels? And how might such insights help Alzheimer's sufferers themselves?

Photo by Ajay Royyuru - http://tinyurl.com/WorksByAjay