Reduce your stress with a snap of your fingers

5 Common Challenges to Meditation

2010-05-09T17:24:00.001-07:00

One of my favorite websites is “Zen Stories to Tell Your Neighbors”

http://www-usr.rider.edu/~suler/zenstory/zenstory.html

Here is one of my favorite stories from that site.

A martial arts student went to his teacher and said earnestly, "I am devoted to studying your martial system. How long will it take me to master it." The teacher's reply was casual, "Ten years." Impatiently, the student answered, "But I want to master it faster than that. I will work very hard. I will practice everyday, ten or more hours a day if I have to. How long will it take then?" The teacher thought for a moment, "20 years."

Many of my meditation workshop participants ask for help with the following problems in their meditation practice. I think about the story above because many of the students have come up with creative ways to deal with these challenges. It is not about working hard on meditation but going with the flow with your challenges.

Wandering mind and focus – many meditation beginners are frustrated with how difficult it is to focus one’s mind on a specific image or their own breathing. Thoughts such as “Am I doing this right?” or “Oh! I remember that I have to finish an errand”. Such distracting thoughts are very common as the “Left” or logical part of the brain is often uncomfortable with the meditation process. You can use your imagination to observe and let these thoughts drift away. You can then bring back your focus on to your “mantra” or your breathing. Just be tolerant of the incessant chatter in your mind. Some people often describe meditation as the gap between the thoughts but remember that even if the gap is for a few seconds, your body and mind benefits from that relaxation. You can change your focus from breathing to images or listen to relaxing music - pick the most effective focusing method that works for you. One of my participants meditates by focusing her attention on the flame of a candle. Just understand that relaxation comes from your focus and “inward” looking. It is not necessarily a continuous process – and it may come in waves and spells.

Physical itch and discomfort – As you focus on meditation; you become aware of new tensions, itches and physical discomforts. You may also become aware of pain in your neck or back. Feel free to adjust your position. If you are sitting cross-legged on the floor, consider moving to a comfortable chair. There is nothing wrong in scratching an itch or applying soothing lotion on any dry part of the skin that itches. The important thing is to return to your mindfulness or meditation session after dealing with your source of discomfort.

Falling asleep – When I listen to a new piece of meditation music, I often fall asleep. When you are tired or exhausted, your physical body can relax immediately by falling asleep. Do you lie down to meditate? Consider sitting on a comfortable chair. If you continue to fall asleep even in the sitting position, try meditating at different times of the day – say early in the morning or middle of the day. Be patient with yourself when this happens. In some cases, you may so physically tired that the body responds by sleeping.

Feeling bored – some participants find meditating to be a very boring activity. Their mind feels restless and they do not get a relaxation response. They grow fidgety and uncomfortable. Try different techniques – focus on your breathing, try different types of music or use your imagination to transport yourself to a beach, forest or garden. If sitting still is a challenge, I strongly recommend walking meditation – see article below:

You do what with a tennis ball?!!

Lack of results – do not expect to become a meditation expert in a few sittings but you should be able to relax within 1-2 meditation session. I teach three techniques – focus on breathing, happy place meditation and loving kindness meditation. There are number of other meditation techniques. Check out books, CDs and DVDs from your public library. If you are open, you will definitely find a technique that works best for you.

Are you challenged to find time to meditate? Check out this article

No time for meditation? Here is what you can do . . .

In spite of my years of meditation practice, there are some days when I can’t relax and enjoy my meditation sessions. To paraphrase a famous saying about fishing “A bad day at meditation is better than a good day with stress”!

I look forward to hearing about your challenges in meditation and how you overcame them.

Three Steps to Use Your Inner Critic Effectively

2010-05-07T14:53:00.000-07:00

All of us have a little voice that keeps evaluating and judging us. This voice may endorse or condemn our actions by saying, “Wow! You did a great job today” or “You are worthless” . At times, is critic can be belittling and even humiliating. Sometimes, the inner critic will flash images from our past or show possible scenarios from the future – some good and some bad.

The inner critic plays a very important role. It often protects us from danger by acting as a moral compass and guiding us in doing the right thing. It can be a very powerful friend in our lives though some books in psychology give strategies to silence the critic, Some serial murderers have been able to completely silence their “conscience” and moral compass and so have not been able to tell right from wrong

Here are the three steps you can use to harness your Inner Critic to your advantage

Observe and record your thoughts as well as images – take time to write out the thoughts that come to your mind when you are happy, sad or relaxed. If you prefer, you can record them with an inexpensive digital audio recorder. Do not judge them - though you are likely to get insights when you review these thoughts at a different place or time.

Ask yourself – are these thought empowering? Do the images, voices or feelings guide me in the right direction? Do they put me down or help me grow?

Replace the dis-empowering thought or image and encourage the empowering thoughts /images – if it is a negative voice – pretend that you are replacing a CD or audio tape or Mp3 in your head. Pretend to turn down the volume of the negative voice and replace with a positive voice or message. If it is a negative image, pretend that you are changing a DVD or VHS tape. Your imagination is a powerful ally because it can help you cope with your inner thoughts and images in an emotional and logical way. If you hear a positive message or image – encourage that message and be grateful for the support you get from your mind.

For example, if you are driving down to meet some one and you are late. Your inner voice may say – “As always, you are so late – why don’t you drive over the speed limit so you can reach in time”. Take the time to listen to your self-talk as you would listen to your best friend. As you listen, you can talk gently to yourself and counsel yourself in the best way you can.

As you perform these steps, you will find it easier to become aware of your thoughts and control them. Again, this is not about positive self-talk – this is about becoming aware of the thoughts in your mind and how they influence your moods, emotions and attitudes.

A classic book, if you want read more on this topic, is “What to Say When You Talk to Yourself” by Shad Helmstetter. The book suggests many powerful ways to cope with negative chatter in our minds and use empowering self-talk.

A surefire way to reduce your stress!

2010-04-27T03:58:00.000-07:00

One of my favorite radio programs is "Speaking of Faith" hosted by Krista Tippet. On the show last week, Krista interviewed experts on Alzheimer's disease - the dreadful disease that slowly unravels and destroys the memory of the patient. There was a particularly touching story of a lady who was very upset that her husband could not recognize her any more. Every time, she went to see him, she kept asking him who she was and he kept repeating he did not know her. However, one fine day, her husband said " I don't know who you are . . . but I know that I love you very much"!

That answer took my breath away. It appears that love is an emotion that is buried deep inside our subconscious- way below the physical brain. Our memories may go away but love remains for a long time. Love and other emotions are often below the 'rational' thinking part of our mind - like stress, anxiety and worry.

Love, therefore, is a very powerful stress reduction tool for us. One Buddhist meditation techniques is referred to as the "Loving Kindness" Meditation. It involves relaxing the body and focusing on sending and receiving love to the people around us and by expansion to all the life in the world and universe. I find it a very powerful meditation technique . . . and so do many of my program participants.

In your daily life, you can use love to relax and find peace in many ways -

1. Spend time with your loved ones -. This may seem like common sense but often we are so busy meeting our work and other life deadlines, we miss out on the opportunity to spend time with our loved ones. I am, sometimes, guilty of brushing off my five year old's request to play games when I am busy with work or other activities.

2. Images and Memories - Take the time to think of your loved ones - are your grand parents deceased? Do you have beautiful and loving memories of them - relax and enjoy those memories. Take the time to replay your child's first words or walk, look through your wedding videos and look through your friends' letters. I love old photo albums.

3. Call and write to your loved ones faraway - In the 1980s the phone company AT&T had a series of TV commercials - "Reach Out and Touch Someone" {See Youtube clip}- about calling your mother or grandmother. In those days of letter writing, people complained about the lack of personal touch of a phone call. But today we see the short messages in texting and emails - I wonder if quantity is as important as quality in communication.

3. Volunteer your time - work in a local soup kitchen, help with food delivery (Meals-On-Wheels Program). The very act of helping other people often brings down our levels of stress.

How do you feel love? Does it help you cope with the challenges of your life? Let me know.

http://speakingoffaith.publicradio.org/index.shtml

April 22, 2010
Alzheimer's disease has been described as "the great unlearning," a "disease of memory," a "demise of consciousness." But what does it reveal about the nature of human identity? What remains when memory unravels? And how might such insights help Alzheimer's sufferers themselves?

Photo by Ajay Royyuru - http://tinyurl.com/WorksByAjay

Why don't you discuss stress analyses?

2010-04-23T04:00:00.000-07:00

Sometimes, my meditation workshop participants ask me why I don't discuss stress analysis or try to find the root cause of their stress. “Would that not be a logical way to eliminate or reduce the stress?” they want to know.

My answer is two fold

1. Stress occurs at very low (primitive) level of our brain. In many cases, we respond almost instinctively (one of my friends calls it a "knee-jerk" reaction) to unique triggers. We realize we are stressed-out or angry almost after the fact. Irrespective of our triggers, challenges or problems, our body almost runs the same script for stress. It may be tightening of the stomach muscles or shoulders or any other physical pattern that we have "trained" ourselves to.

2. Stress often depends on our own unique perspective and values. Another person (unless he or she is very close to you - like a spouse, parent, sibling or a close friend) cannot really empathize or feel the pain with you. As an instructor in meditation and mindfulness, I definitely cannot be in a position of judgment about your values and problems.

So what is the solution to stress? The important and immediate response to stress is becoming aware of the stress, anxiety and pain in your body. You can then, use a variety of stress reduction techniques to manage your stress by physical and mental relaxation. As you get more relaxed, your mind reaches a more empowered state.

Don't you feel that you can solve problems better when you are in a more relaxed and energized state? The key goal of any good stress management system is to bring your mind to such a state where you can rationally work through your problems and challenges. When you reach a very relaxed state, you can actually trigger your "Right" or the creative side of the brain to bring forth effective solutions that even your logical or "left” side of the brain cannot think of!!

Stress analysis is an important part of stress management and you can enhance that by logically studying your challenges and following a disciplined problem solving plan. But all that comes later, after you have managed your stress to levels at which you are comfortable.

Here are two articles you may find of interest

Here is an effective way to determine your stress levels

How to reduce your stress levels in an instant!

Happy Meditation!

Five foods that help you beat stress!

2010-04-21T04:23:00.000-07:00

There is something about eating that soothes and relaxes us. We can enhance our relaxation by our choice of foods. Instead of munching on cookies or potato chips, we can enjoy healthy foods to calm our mind. Stock these foods in your home or office and you can be sure of feeding your mind and soul while nurturing your body!

1. Oranges are loaded with Vitamin C – an important stress-busting vitamin. Eating oranges may also help fight your sugar craving because they are sweet. They are also loaded with magnesium, calcium and fiber – all good for your body. Not fond of oranges - try other fruits? Consider berries - blackberries, cherries, strawberries - they are loaded with antioxidants, fiber, natural sugars and other powerful nutrients. One of my friends Madhu always buys boxes of berries during our business trips and I have found that it is very relaxing and revitalizing, munching on them at the hotel or in-between customer visits. Try fruits that you have never tried before - Have you ever eaten persimmons, mangoes, pomegranates or papaya?

2. Spinach - Did you know spinach came to us from Persia (modern day)

Iran

? Nearly half of your daily needs of magnesium are provided by one cup of spinach. Addition of spinach prevents magnesium deficiency, associated with migraine headaches and a feeling of fatigue. Leafy vegetables like spinach, lettuce and collard greens are super-packed with iron, vitamins and healthy fiber. Salad or lightly cooked/ stir fried vegetables are filling, delicious and make you feel more energized and revitalized. Consider adding different color vegetables - egg plants, red/green orange peppers, avocados and mushrooms to your diet and see the difference!

3. Salmon – Do you feel sluggish in the afternoons after a large beef sandwich and soda? Try a grilled salmon dish with salad and skip dessert. As you may be aware salmon is a good source of Omega-3 – an essential fatty acid and a delicious source of protein.

4. Beans - OK - let us get done with the "gas" jokes. Food containing beans do tend to make us gassy at times. Often, the condition improves as your body adjusts to the new diet. Two easy ways to get rid of the gas in beans - wash the beans after you cook them or you can add a drop of Beano - a food ingredient that contains a natural food enzyme that helps breakdown the fiber and prevent gas. Beano is available in most grocery stories and pharmacies - check out the link below.
http://www.beanogas.com/FAQ.aspx

Beans are a great source of fiber, vegetable protein and micro-nutrients. Try a variety of beans - kidney beans, garbanzo beans, lima beans and soy beans. Try them from cans (easy to use - rinse and add to your salad) or buy dry beans, soak them overnight and cook them in a slow cooker. Fresh green beans are perfect when you sauté them with onions, garlic, ginger and a touch of paprika/chili powder. Check out Indian recipes if you like them spicy.

5. Nuts - Cashew nuts, almonds, peanuts, walnuts and pecans make a great snack by themselves. You can add them to your salads or top your entree. Nuts are a great source of protein, fiber, vitamin E and essential fatty acids.

Hydration – drink plenty of water. Green tea is a good choice – you know that soda (even diet cola) is not a good choice! Coffee is okay in moderation (1-2 cups daily).

For more information:
Many so-called health experts tend to bash government sources on health nutrition. I often heard people complain that FDA recommendations cater to the Beef, Pork or Agriculture lobbies. However, the NIH, CDC and other government agencies provide scientific and authentic recommendations (often better than literature passed out by food supplement industry!). Check out this website below and download free a great report from the CDC website - see link below:

30 ways in 30 days to Stretch Your Fruit & Vegetable Budget (PDF-408k)
Check out the website http://www.fruitsandveggiesmatter.gov/index.html

Fifteen ways to reduce your stress in 15 mins or less

2010-04-20T05:54:00.000-07:00

"You teach best what you most need to learn"

- Richard Bach

I am no "guru" or "master" - I deal with anxieties, stresses and fear on a daily basis like same as any of you About 15-20 years ago, I got frustrated with these issues and ever since have always been looking for and exploring different strategies to cope with stress. Also, I realized that stress often comes in short spurts and if it is not controlled, it keeps increasing until it gets out of proportion and causes anxiety. If you can work on your stress in the first five-ten minutes of its appearance - in most cases - your anxiety levels will come down.
The goal is to reduce your stress to "manageable" levels since stress like fear and pain has an important role to play in our lives. If we did not have any fear, pain or stress - we would not survive long. Fear prevents us from doing things that are dangerous. Pain is often a signal that there is something wrong. Stress at work ensures that we meet our deadlines. The key is stress "management".

Meditation (the skill of focusing your mind internally) and mindfulness practice (the skill of focusing on the "NOW" or the present moment) are the basis of these effective stress management tools. Use one or more of them the next time you are stressed out.

1. Listen to music - If you are one of the fortunate who can play a musical instrument or you are trained in music, you know the power of stress reduction that comes to you as you play your instrument or sing a favorite song. Most of us have our favorite pieces of music to relax with. I am particularly fond of listening to the flute

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GpdA4Wpv2Fo - Check this link out for a haunting flute recital by one of

India

's greatest flautist - Hari Prasad Chaurasia.

2. Write a letter - not an email but a snail mail one with pen and paper to a loved one. Is there a family member or friend who will appreciate a long letter from you? Take the time to compose your thoughts and write a letter. The very act of writing triggers your right brain and will help you relax.

3. Sketch or color with your children/grand children - Do you have young children around your house? If not, borrow them :-) Get a set of crayons and print our some pages from websites below. Make sure that you use crazy colors - purple for leaves - green for people's face etc.

www.colormegood.com
http://www.kidscolorpages.com/coloringpages.htm

For that matter any work with your hands (be it knitting, sewing, clay modeling, flower arrangements – list is endless) calms your mind and serves as a stress buster.

4. Take a shower or a long bath There is something super-relaxing about water. May be it is the massaging action or just the feel of water or the primordial memory of our time in the secure womb before birth! Showers and baths sure have a powerful way of removing stress from our bodies. Add a handful of rock salt to the water to experience a greater sense of relaxation.

5. Play with a ball - In one of my previous blog articles, I discussed about the use a tennis ball to focus on my walking meditation. Just the act of throwing and catching a ball can have a therapeutic effect on your stress levels. In the Movie "The Great Escape" - Hilts - a character played by Steve McQueen - uses a baseball glove and ball to relieve the tedium of solitary confinement.
http://stressreduction123.blogspot.com/2010/03/you-do-what-with-tennis-ball.html

6. The power of gardens - I have the brown finger as far as gardening goes - I nearly killed a potted plant, which was sold as an "indestructible" plant but gardens and flowers have a magical effect on me. If you are fortunate to live close to a garden (indoor or outdoor) - do recharge yourself among plants and flowers

7. Pets - The companionship and stress reduction ability of pets - especially dogs and cats is well-known. If you are fortunate to have pets in your house, you know the power of these animals in providing a presence and healing effect. Nothing symbolizes unconditional love and joy as a puppy dog!

8. Read or write a poem - one of my favorite poem is by American Poet Walt Whitman
http://www.poetryfoundation.org/archive/poem.html?id=178711 - see this link for the whole poem
Afoot and light-hearted I take to the open road,
Healthy, free, the world before me,
The long brown path before me leading wherever I choose.
Henceforth I ask not good-fortune, I myself am good-fortune,
Henceforth I whimper no more, postpone no more, need nothing,
Done with indoor complaints, libraries, querulous criticisms,
Strong and content I travel the open road.

9. Help your friend - Take the time to help friends or your loved ones with their problems. It is amazing when you look at other people's problems and consciously work to help or support them; you get a unique perspective on your stress.

10. Cooking - grab a recipe book or a recipe from the internet. There are 100s of recipes for healthy foods that can be prepared in 15 minutes or less. Cooking is a very relaxing activity - especially when you immerse yourself in multiple senses - observing the colors of ingredients, smelling the spices and hearing the rhythmic chopping of vegetables on the cutting board.

11. Maintain a Journal - an effective stress observing and reducing technique is to put your thoughts in paper. While you can use your laptop, pen and paper have a special impact on my creativity. Many of the outlines of these articles are sketched out in pen and paper. Examining your thoughts in this way gives you a unique and powerful perspective on your life.

12. Take a Power walk - Take a ten or fifteen minute walk around the block. Focus only on the act of walking and the present moment. Not only will you feel more relaxed, you will find that you get significant energy

13. Get a healthy snack - Tomes have been written on the negative impact of junk food that people eat when they are stressed. Keep apples, oranges in your office or home - take the time to enjoy a healthy snack. For me, even the act of peeling an orange and smelling the fruit helps me relax

14. Focus on routine tasks around the house/ office - cleaning the bathroom or vacuuming the living room tidying up wardrobes and other routine housekeeping chores often act as metaphors for ridding the mind of negative thoughts and stresses. As you focus on the routine activity, see how your mind relaxes and copes with your challenges.

15. Focus on your breathing - most of you who attended my meditation classes know the power of focusing on breathing. Just put your palms over your belly and observe your breathing. This will reduce your stress levels.

While lovemaking and sex may be one of the most powerful stress reducing technique, I have kept this out of the list because it often goes over the limit of 15 minutes :-). Sex and love making produces unique stress reducing chemicals and mood enhancing hormones . . . you already know that!

Do email me or comment on this blog - your favorite stress busting technique.

Can music enhance your meditation experience?

2010-04-15T09:52:00.000-07:00

For most of us, the term “Meditation” conjures up images of people, sitting cross-legged and listening to Indian “Sitar music”.

As per the “Brain Wave Theory” - there are five categories of brain frequencies: beta, alpha, theta, gamma, and delta, which influence the state of mind differently. Listening to the right kind of frequency helps the brain harmonize with that frequency thus enabling it to reach the desired state. Alpha frequency music is believed to be the ideal frequency for meditation. I am still skeptical about some of the claims made by some of the companies who market music utilizing this technology. They often claim to “balance” your brain, increase your creativity and bring peace to your mind.

I rarely used music, when I first started practicing meditation about 15 years ago. I tried using Indian classical instrumental music – flute and violin (Yes! Violin was introduced to Indian Classical music in early 1800s – British fiddle – that is a future blog story) as a background and found it to be beneficial. Baroque music pieces with slow movements were also favored by me. About 5 years ago, I was amazed at the levels of the relaxation I could achieve when I used a combination of electronic music, sounds of nature (ocean waves) and chanting.

You need to experiment with different pieces of music and choose the ones you can relax most easily with.

Quite accidentally, I discovered the music of JS Epperson. I tried two of his pieces (See below for free download) and I am impressed by the musician’s creativity and ability to produce hauntingly relaxing and beautiful music. I reached him by phone in Seattle a few weeks ago and interviewed him for this blog.

Jay – tell me a little about yourself

From the age of two years, I always enjoyed playing music– I was obsessed with drones and I would sing harmonics over the hum of car engines. I started experimenting with electronic music when I was in University of Southern California (Thornton School of Music). I made the connection between music and the brain in a communication class when the lecturer told us “What goes IN with music - comes OUT with music”! {Sudesh’s note – I agree – when I listen to the song hits of the 80s – it triggers beautiful and detailed memories of my life associated with those songs}. In early 1990s, I started providing music to institutes and individuals, who wanted to use it as background for meditation and relaxation tapes.

What is your mission?

Though some people may feel that here is a spiritual component to my work, my primary interest is in the physical responses to musical stimuli. For the most part, I am deeply interested in interpreting "artistically" and applying these research findings to my music. I am now in the process of updating my website to sell some of the music tracks for a dollar each. I am also experimenting with donations from my listeners.

What advice do you have for my blog readers?

Start with the intention
Block time for meditation regularly.
Create the right environment.
Let your family members know that you would not like to be disturbed (except for emergencies).
Pick the right music.
And let yourself GO

(Sometimes I relax by listening to music created by others. The very act of creating music is very relaxing for me. I often go on “meditation” binges 2-3 hours in a DAY! Of course, don’t listen to this music while you are driving or operating heavy machinery!)

Check out JS Epperson’s music and let us know what you like about his music.

DELTADREAM
http://higher-music.com/discography/deltadream-binaural-sleep-beats/

INSIGHT - A THETA MEDITATION
http://higher-music.com/discography/insight-theta-meditation/

Photo credit: Ajay Royyuru - http://tinyurl.com/WorksByAjay

Three lies your mind tells you about happiness and peace

2010-04-13T19:33:00.000-07:00

Lie 1: When your circumstances change, you will become happier

Our mind tells us that we will be happy when we get the perfect job, perfect spouse or when we get our first million dollars. There seem to be complex rules for us to be happy - not only do we have to worry about our peace of mind, we include others in our "get happy" mode. If only our spouse/ friend/ {insert favorite relative} did exactly what we tell them to do - and then all of us will be happy.
The truth - Focus on yourself! Focus on the present moment! Identify those aspects of your life that are going well for you and recognize what you can be grateful for. If you can do it now, you can do it in the future too!

Lie 2. You are born with or without the "Happy" gene - there is nothing you can do.

Have you met people who seem to be happy whatever their circumstances in their life? Do you wonder if they were born with a special gene? Scientifically the existence of such a gene has not been proven.

The truth: We pick up negative "rules" for happiness from our family, environment and friends but we can make changes in our behavior and beliefs in order to become happy. I have enjoyed reading and applying the techniques described by Martin E.P. Seligman in his book "Learned Optimism". Learning to be optimistic is one path to happiness and peace.

Lie 3. You can distract yourself into happiness
We often feel that the use of alcohol, drugs or other distractions can prevent us from being depressed or stressed out. The use of alcohol, drugs or other distractions is only an indication that we are unwilling to face life’s challenges – it is an escapist’s road and does not lead to peace or happiness.
The truth - We have to face our life directly and accept that, at times, it is not a bed of roses. Focus and objectivity can help us find new solutions and methods of coping with challenges. Mindfulness practice can be used both during the happy and stressful periods of our lives.

See Jill Bolte Taylor's famous TED video link below on the left versus right brain. Her explanation gives us a unique perspective on how the two parts of our brain work - often in very different ways.

Learned Optimism: How to Change Your Mind and Your Life

Martin E. P. Seligman (Paperback - Jan 3, 2006)

$10.20

http://blog.ted.com/2008/03/jill_bolte_tayl.php
Neuroanatomist Jill Bolte Taylor had an opportunity few brain scientists would wish for: One morning, she realized she was having a massive stroke. As it happened -- as she felt her brain functions slip away one by one, speech, movement, understanding -- she studied and remembered every moment. This is a powerful story of recovery and awareness -- of how our brains define us and connect us to the world and to one another. (Recorded February 2008 in Monterey, California. Duration: 18:44.)

You do what with a tennis ball?!!

2010-03-31T19:46:00.000-07:00

Thanks to my friend Barry for this idea!

Next time you go for a walk around the park, take a tennis ball with you. Use the tennis ball to focus your mind to the present. If you are like me, I end up brooding about problems or life-challenges when I go on walks. In some cases, I actually find solutions to some of my problems. In other cases, I just increase my anxiety levels.

When you have a tennis ball in your hand, you can bounce it off your path and watch its path as it goes down. Listen to the thump as the ball hits the ground and catch it as it comes up. Feel the texture of the ball as you prepare to bounce it again. This very simple process grounds you to the present moment. The activity is similar to that of monks and saints who use prayer beads and a mantra to focus in the present.

This simple activity - it engages your sense of sight, sound and feeling - has a tremendous relaxing effect in your mind and body. Every time, your mind is diverted to your pressing problems and challenges, this ball draws your attention to the present. In addition to the feeling of relaxation this active play provides, you may also find creative solutions to your life's challenges.

Try it and let me know how it works for you!

Standard Disclaimer - Always be of mindful of others and traffic around. This exercise is done best in relatively empty streets or in a park.

How to reduce your stress levels in an instant!

2010-03-29T16:26:00.000-07:00

I always meet a certain amount of skepticism when I tell my students that they can relax almost instantaneously!

I, then ask them to think of a person they hate. As they think of that person, their mind runs through an image of that person, their body tenses up and, in many cases, there is a visible increase in their stress levels. In some cases, they confide, all they have to hear the voice or see that person's car - and they feel angry.

The mind is very powerful - it can take just a negative image or voice of a person, event or even an imagined action and trigger stress in your body. As you have "negative" experiences with this person, your mind records all the details of this "heightened emotional" state", your breathing, your posture and other physical and mental parts of the event. As you encounter this person or negative event again, the mind "remembers" the past experiences and builds upon it. Suddenly, all you need is a little cue, like the person's face or voice and trigger the stress in your body.

In my meditation classes, I teach the opposite process - the art of "anchoring" the relaxation response. As you reach a state of complete relaxation, you can use multiple anchors (such as snapping your finger and whispering the word "peace") or you can use a photo of a loved one in your key chain. As you repeat this anchor, your mind records all the details of your breathing, posture and your mental state. If you do this often, all you need is to use the anchor in a situation where you are stressed out and your body will relax instantaneously.

This technique is well-know and illustrated well by Steven G. Jones - a clinical hypnotherapist. In this video he teaches how you can "trigger" self-confidence using anchors.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mzHyjubejwQ

Uses of NLP Anchors by Steve G. Jones, M.Ed.
8 min - Jun 6, 2007
http://www.stevegjones.com/index.htm

Another 5 ways to soothe yourself without food!

2010-03-24T19:24:00.000-07:00

It appears that many of us use food as a way to relax ourselves - not an effective long term strategy! I checked for additional ideas and found this book by Susan Albers "50 ways to soothe yourself without food"

The author starts out with a short introduction to reasons why we find eating as a very soothing activity. Common reasons include bio-chemical changes in the body, boredom and habit. Donuts & chocolate - do I need to say more? Donuts are loaded with sugar and fat - they give you a boost of energy. Chocolate increases some mood enhancing chemicals in our brain.

Her five major categories of relaxation are
(1) Meditation and mindfulness - using breathing and other self-focus techniques to relax without the need for food.

(2) Focus on your thoughts and change them - Writing your journal can help you examine your thoughts and focus on positive and self-affirming thoughts. Day-dreaming and focusing and focusing on your worries may also guide your mind and thoughts from food.

(3) Relax your body with exercise, yoga or a massage. While a massage from a professional can be expensive, consider bribing your spouse or significant other to give you a neck or shoulder rub.

(4) Use distractions - watching a funny movie, work on your favorite crafts or listening to relaxing music - all help you distract from eating.

(5) Connect with your family and friends - a great way to relax is to go for a walk with your spouse or best friend. A phone call or chat with someone by facebook or skype also can help you de-stress rapidly.

What are some of your favorite methods to destress??

Non-religious meditation - What is the big deal?

2010-03-21T14:54:00.000-07:00

When I started out in the meditation journey about 15 years ago, I was an atheist/agnostic. Similar to today, many of the meditation practices were sponsored by religious organizations. While these organizations claim to focus on the spiritual aspects of the practice, many of the traditions and rituals are associated with that of organized religion (my opinion). I focus (no pun intended) on non-religious techniques that rely on breath awareness, visualization and feelings of love. These techniques are very easy for beginners to understand and learn. Also, the "religious" baggage that come with some of the "spiritual" meditation techniques are avoided.

My brother calls me a "Born Again" Hindu as I re-embraced religion of my birth after many years of being an atheist/agnostic. Since then, I had many spiritual experiences (some people say that it is related to my meditation practice). I do go to Indian temples regularly but my spiritual experiences have manifested themselves during nature walks, visits to churches and jewish temples also. I am driven to keep these spiritual experiences out of my meditation classes - because I believe that each person has a unique experience with meditation and I want them to respect that.

At the same time, I respect people who use meditation primarily as an extension of their religious or spiritual practice to know more about themselves and connect to a higher source of power - God, Allah or whatever they may choose to call it.

Two books that have influenced my meditation practice and classes are:

Breakout Principle by Dr. Herbert Benson (famous for his Relaxation Response theory) develops the scientific basis for meditation and relaxation techniques and its impact on the quality of our lives.

Open Focus Brain by Dr Les Fehmi is another work that has impressed me in its scientific and effective approach in dealing with stress and focus in our lives.

No time for meditation? Here is what you can do . . .

2010-03-20T11:06:00.000-07:00

Most of my students complain that they enjoy meditation but they cannot find the time for it. You do not need 30- 45 minutes to one hour for a good meditation session. The secret is quality not quantity! It is good to schedule a long meditation session about once in a week and it will add to your relaxation to find 5-10 minutes daily for a mini-meditation session shown below.

Many years ago, I recall reading about a unique technique for short power naps. You lie down in bed with a spoon in your hand. The spoon is poised over a plate next to your bed. As you sleep, your body relaxes completely and the spoon slips and the resulting clatter wakes you up completely refreshed. I have tried various combinations of these power naps and found them very refreshing.

To extend this idea, I suggest that you use a kitchen timer ($5-$15 at your local store). I prefer a mechanical one as it has a ticking noise. Set it for 5 minutes and focus on your breathing. Visualize, in your mind's eye, air coming through your nostrils and going into your lungs and belly. Follow your breath out. Listen the sounds of breathing and feel as your chest moves up and down against your shirt or dress. I often imagine that my stress dissolves in the air I breathe in and the stress goes out with my exhalation. I also imagine that I breathe in peace and love along with air and spread the feeling of relaxation all over my body. When my thoughts and focus wanders away, I gentle bring my focus back to my breathing. Before I know it, the timer rings and it is time for my next task.

Try this out and let me know your comments. Please share your favorite "mini-meditation" with this group.

Does stress really cause heart disease?

2010-03-18T19:01:00.000-07:00

You often see reports about stress "causing" heart disease in the popular media. There are two separate issues - heart attack versus heart disease. Heart disease occurs over a period of time - heart attack is a specific event - often the last stage of heart disease as a person succumbs to this disease.

What is a heart attack?

Heart attack is a specific event! A heart attack occurs when the blood supply to part of the heart muscle itself is severely reduced or stopped. The reduction or stoppage happens when one or more of the coronary arteries supplying blood to the heart muscle is blocked. This is usually caused by the buildup of plaque (deposits of fat-like substances), a process called atherosclerosis. The plaque can eventually burst, tear or rupture, creating a "snag" where a blood clot forms and blocks the artery. This leads to a heart attack.

If the blood supply is cut off for more than a few minutes, muscle cells suffer permanent injury and die. This can kill or disable someone, depending on how much heart muscle is damaged.

The medical term for heart attack is myocardial infarction. A heart attack is also sometimes called a coronary thrombosis or coronary occlusion.

What is Heart Disease?
Heart disease refers to conditions in your arteries and other blood vessels related to your heart. Coronary Artery Disease (CAD) refers to the build of plaque in your arteries (see atherosclerosis above). In some individuals this "process" starts as early as 2 years of age. CAD can result in angina (chest pain) or heart attack or other health complications.

Several factors play an important role in heart disease including your family history, cholesterol levels, level of physical activity and smoking. Many studies suggest that anger and negative handling of stress can have a powerful effect on a person's immunity and risk of heart disease. People who hate their jobs have double the risk of dying from heart disease as compared to people who enjoy their jobs. It must be understood that the "garden variety" of stress is common for most people. It is not the "stress" that kills but how we handle it.

The bottom line - if you have anger issues or you have "unhealthy" ways of dealing with your stress levels - consider meditation and other relaxation methods.

Reference:How to Beat the Heart Disease Epidemic Among South Asians: A Prevent…

Your short guide to relaxing and rejuvenating sleep!

2010-03-17T19:17:00.000-07:00

Have you enjoyed a good night's sleep and seen the difference it makes? You feel relaxed, more energetic and happy. Healthy sleep can help you with better moods and creativity too! Here are some actions you can take to ensure healthy sleep.

1. Appropriate food/ beverage choices - Eat a light and healthy dinner before 8 pm. Avoid caffeine, sugar drinks and alcohol at night.

2. Moderate exercise during the day - Regular walks 30-45 mins during the day helps you sleep better. Avoid intense exercises after 5 pm

3. Follow a regular routine each night - have a meditation session to relax your body, listen to gentle music or take a warm bath or shower

4. Have the right environment in your bedroom - make sure you have a comfortable mattress and pillows, proper low lights and a quiet place will facilitate a good relaxed sleep.

How much sleep do you need? It varies from person to person and based on the level of your physical activity, stress levels and age - typically from 7-8 hours is common for most adults. If you wake up feeling tired and have less energy in the mornings, it is possible that you are not sleeping well. Check with your doctor or a sleep professional.

The link below connects you a free 70 page booklet released by NIH (National Institute of Health) with more details on this subject.

http://www.nhlbi.nih.gov/health/public/sleep/healthy_sleep.pdf

Here is an effective way to determine your stress levels

2010-03-16T14:11:00.000-07:00

Most online stress measurement tools use an "life-event" method to determine your stress levels. If you have a divorce, a job loss or major illness; you are considered to have high stress levels. However, the problem with this approach is that it does not measure our daily activities and how we react to this. We may have a boss that we do not like or our stress related to specific relationships may be increasing in small but significant measures.

The best analogy I found for stress assessment is that of RPE - (Rating of Perceived Exertion by Borg) to measure the intensity of your daily exercise routine. Instead of using a heart-monitor or trying to measure your pulse, you can estimate the intensity of your exercise by how hard you feel you are working out. You give yourself a rating of 6-20 - 6 being no exertion at all and 20 being very intense exercise. Typical walking can have RPE levels of 9-12 while intense aerobics may cause you to give a rating 16-19. While this may seem subjective, your mind is pretty good at assessing your exercise intensity. These measures are often as sensitive as heart monitors or pulse counter techniques.

http://www.cdc.gov/physicalactivity/everyone/measuring/exertion.html

A similar method is used to assess your stress levels. Dr. Sheldon Cohen of Carnegie Mellon University pioneered in a unique self-assessment technique for stress called PSS (Perceived Stress Scale). Similar to RPE above, you are asked to estimate your own level of stress based on the uncertainty, lack of control and overload that exists in various areas of your life. Here are two websites that give help you self-assess your stress levels based on Dr. Cohen's technique.

http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/stress-assessment/sr00029 - the famous Mayo Clinic has this online tool

You may also have a hard copy printed out from the MindGarden.com website and use it to assess your stress levels during the week.

http://www.mindgarden.com/docs/PerceivedStressScale.pdf

The bottom line - the few minutes you take to become aware of your stress levels and the causes for it - actually will help you lower your stress levels.

Do you have your own method of assessing your stress levels? I would love to hear about it.

Three important lessons you can learn from children

2010-03-15T15:52:00.000-07:00

Do you have young children in your house? If not, borrow them from your friends or your adult children :-)
Children (especially less than 7 years old) are masters at mindfulness practice. They enjoy the present. Observe a five year old play with a cardboard box. In his (or her) imagination, the box takes whatever shape he wants. It could be a race car or a house. He can be immersed in it for hours together. The three lessons we can learn from children are

(1) Focus and enjoy the present - you cannot do anything about the past and don't be too worried about the future - it often turns out quite different what you imagined it will be.
(2) Use your imagination in strong and positive ways - Worry is a classic example of using your imagination in a negative manner. Enjoy and play regularly in your life
(3) Unconditional love - there are so many people who give you unconditional love. Your family, your friends and many of your co-workers. Accept and acknowledge this love in your life.

After I wrote this article, I found this wonderful and similar article in health bistro! Check it out!

Check out this blog article!
http://healthbistro.lifescript.com/2009/11/03/6-life-lessons-we-can-learn-from-children/

Recommended CD set: Learn meditation in less than 1 hour with this CD!

2010-03-14T15:30:00.000-07:00

Many of us think of meditation and mindfulness as a long and complex art that involves hours of sitting down and doing nothing! Nothing can be farther from the truth - John Kabat Zinn and Andrew Weil give a great introduction to meditation in this two part CD. Here are two testimonials from Amazon.com for this CD set.
This CD set is only $16.47 now (regular price is $25.00)

30 of 30 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars Good introduction to meditation, March 28, 2005

By	CE Johnson (Lakewood, CO United States) - See all my reviews

This is a solid introduction to the practice of meditation. The first disc features Weil and Kabat-Zinn giving background information about meditation. The second disc features guided meditations. Like any spiritual practice, the more information an individual gets, the better he or she becomes at that practice. This set of discs is a good starting point that will get a person going into meditation immediately, which might lead the listener to pursue additional materials about spirituality.

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33 of 34 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars Fundamental information about meditation, November 15, 2003

By	Rupert Valentino (Denver, Colorado United States) - See all my reviews

Anyone who is looking for a way to relax, and to just get the basic rundown of what meditation is all about, this recording will give you just that. Sit for awhile and listen to Dr. Weil's kind voice and that alone will have you feeling relaxed. John Kabat-Zinn is a little odd, I really respect his vast knowledge and practical advice, but his take on things seems a bit surreal. I recommend this for anyone who is in need of a practical, if basic guide to meditation.

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Three rules of stress management all of us must know!

2010-03-12T18:04:00.000-08:00

If you have a pulse, you have life . . . and you have problems . . . and stress in your life. Happy people are those who have found ways to cope and even thrive under stress.

When I was a young engineer, I was visiting Garibaldi Square in Mexico City, Mexico. On Saturday nights, the best mariachi bands (traditional Mexican music bands) play in the crowded square. As I watched the bands play, I saw a very old couple in pretty shabby clothes. It was very apparent that they were not very rich. I had my dreams and frustrations - I was waiting to buy a new car, a house . . . may be even a boat. I saw the contrast between them and I. I was this rich "North Americano" engineer and they were this poor couple with very little material things in their life. But I also saw that they held hands and very much in love with each other. They were enjoying the music. They were enjoying the present.

At that moment, I realized, all I had was the present moment! I could choose to be happy with what I have and where I am in my life. I did not have to have my house, my car and even my boat to be happy.

Three simple rules:

Rule One: Awareness - take the time to see what stress you have in your life and how it manifests. Do you yell at your kids? (I do sometimes), Are you carrying tension in your body (I carry it in my neck and shoulders), Do you have headaches?

Rule Two: Acceptance/ Acknowledgment - Irrespective of your circumstances, you have a choice. Your left brain has specific rules about how life must be for you to be happy! They are "false" rules - your right brain will tell you that.

Rule Three: Action - What is in your control? What can you do about it? Does worrying about your problems help you? As you relax, the answers will come. Take the action you need to help you. In some cases, it may mean no action. For an action oriented person like me, that is the biggest challenge :-)

Read this if you grind your teeth

2010-03-12T05:29:00.001-08:00

Sometimes, do you clench your jaws and grind your teeth during sleep? Do you wake up with sore jaws and headaches as a result of your teeth grinding?

Our bodies and minds often give us signals when we are not coping with our stress levels adequately. Sometimes, I grind my teeth at night. It is often a sign for me to take action (i) Work on my journal (ii) Increase the duration or reduce the intensity of my exercise levels (iii) Catch up on my meditation and mindfulness exercises.

If you have a problem with grinding teeth, check with your dentist. Your dental insurance may cover a personalized mouth guard - typical costs between $200-$700. You can wear this mouth guard at nights and protect your teeth. Your local pharmacy may have cheaper night guards ($15-$30) - see weblink below.

Also, take time to be aware of your stress levels. Take time to relax and unwind before you sleep. Read to your kids, listen to your favorite music or play with your pet before you go to bed.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/society/2010/feb/28/teeth-grinding-recession-linked-dentists
Check your local Walgreens for Night Guard
Night Guard - to reduce pain caused by teeth grinding while you sleep

Do this during exercise to super-size your stress relief

2010-03-09T14:23:00.000-08:00

Mindfulness - art of focusing our awareness to the present moment can trigger relaxation during any of your daily routines including exercise.

Do you exercise regularly? Do you listen to your ipod or watch tv as you walk on the treadmill? Here are some simple tips to incorporate mindfulness in your exercise routine to gain additional relaxation from your work-out.

>Focus on your exercise routine, your body movements and your breathing.

>Pay attention to your stride, speed and heart rate

>Are you fretting about the tasks you have to complete after the exercise - draw your attention to the relaxation within you.

>If you are weight training, focus on the the muscles that move the weight up and down (slowly - to the count of 10 up and down).

Just becoming aware of your stresses in your body will help you find the right balance and posture for your exercise technique.

You can use this techniques with any daily activities. Are you walking from one department to another at your work place. Take the time to read your posture, your stress levels. You will be amazed that just by taking the time to find your stresses in your body, you will relax.

5 ways to relax without eating

2010-03-07T07:21:00.000-08:00

I often used eating as a way to deal with my stress levels. Here are 5 simple alternatives to eating unhealthy food I use now.

1. Drink a glass of water and go for a walk around the block
2. Get a hug from my 6 year old and play with him - I do that with my wife too :-)
3. Listen to music - Indian classical is my favorite
4. Put a timer for 5 mins and concentrate on my breathing
5. Last way - I eat a fruit + 1 glass of soy milk if I am really hungry

Try one of these techniques out the next time you are stressed and let me know how it worked for you.
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